Effort, yes. But without burning ourselves out

Effort is part of the things we want to achieve, but it shouldn't consume us. Returning to routine can be a source of energy or a constant drain, depending on how we approach it.

September arrives and we make lists. Going back to the gym. Resuming English. Eating better. That project we've been saying for months we'll start. Getting organized once and for all. And at work, goals, budgets, planning for the last quarter.

We think a lot about what we want to happen. We think far less about how we want to feel while it happens.

And this is not a criticism of demands. There are things we want that require effort. Learning, growing, changing jobs, building something, leading a team, doing a job really well done. None of this happens by itself.

It demands effort. But it shouldn't consume us.

The difference isn’t obvious, and it starts very small.

A conversation at ten in the morning that you’re still turning over at dinner time. The fuse getting a little shorter each week. Something you used to do without thinking and now have to gather strength for.

And you keep going, of course. Because you still can.

The question we almost never ask ourselves is whether all this truly belongs to the effort demanded by what we want to achieve.

Because there is a part of the effort that the goal demands. And another that maybe doesn’t.

Here it’s important to be careful, because the easy answer is that we impose it on ourselves.

Sometimes yes. But this extra part can also come from a poorly designed organization, a certain culture, a boss, impossible expectations, a lack of resources, or years of someone compensating for what doesn’t work.

Telling someone who is burning out that they should manage themselves better is often part of the problem.

One day we begin to ask ourselves if, to feel better, we might have to want less.

Maybe not.

Maybe before giving up what we want, it’s worth looking at which part of the cost is inherent to achieving it and which part we have normalized without ever questioning if it was necessary.

So maybe this September, alongside the list of things we want to achieve, we could make another.

Not only what I want to happen, but how I want to feel while it happens.

And when something starts to consume us, ask ourselves one more question: does what I want to achieve really demand this, or have I just always done it this way?